Posts in category Removals

We'll Buy Your House in 7 Seconds Strikes Again

Well well well.  It looks like our buddy Al Slafman is at it again.

So sexxxay it huuuuurts...

Al Slafman is one of the cast of characters that has been a thorn in many neighbors' rear-ends before BanditProject began.   He's also one of the first people we identified and realized, with enough asking-around, probing and digging, we could figure out who these mysterious semi-anonymous people are who are behind the bandit signs that litter your neighborhoods.

Well, we have an update for you.   Al Slafman wants to sell you some "cheap energy".

This was on Al's Facebook page, so we wondered where 6302 Rising Sun actually leads to (other than a small storefront up in the Lawncrest section of Northeast Philadelphia).

Sure enough:

Welcome to the batcave of Slafman Properties

Well now you know where to drop off those bandit signs.  Just be sure to deface the phone number on the sign first before you give them back to Al.

This is probably a better place for his signs

Oh by the way, if you see a dark colored Volkswagen full of signs in the back?   That's probably Al's folks putting up signs.

This picture is just too good for words. I'm speechless.

Oh yes, we're pretty sure this is where Al goes to bed at night, or it could be another one of his rentals, who knows, it's showing up as the mailing address for his BRT account for the Slafman Properties batcave.

Categories: Removals, Hall of Shame
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Meet Kelly - The Bandit Bozo

Confessions of a bandit sign bozo

Meet Kelly.   Kelly is not really in on your average low-income real estate flipping bonanza.  Kelly is "so successful" at his skills at making creative bandit sign slogans, his time is spent mostly marketing to other bandit sign zombies who roam the streets at night putting up coroplast.  People who probably overpaid to read one of Dean's romance novels about the zillions he's making low-balling desperate people out of their homes.

If you stare at this long enough, you'll catch Syphalis             

I hate to link to bandit bozo websites because that only bumps up their rankings in search engines, but one website that Kelly runs is worth linking to.

If you like clean streets and nice neighborhoods, 
you are probably a member of the Third Reich

Kelly has created a new type of zombie, one that spends more energy telling you how to produce bandit signs rather than running a legitimate small enterprise.  For $98.50 you can take his "bandit sign nazi" course to learn the ropes of avoiding folks like local authorities, community organizations who are sick of litter, or sites like ours where we put bandit sign owners on parade for all to see.

We'll spare you giving any cash to Kelly and tell you what he recommends doing so you can avoid getting caught:

- Use prepaid cell phones, or get one that has call forwarding on it.   Put the prepaid phone number on your sign, and forward it to your real phone number.   Or stick to using Skype, MagicJack, or any VOIP service where you don't have to register the phone because cell phone numbers are traceable.
- Don't ever put license numbers on anything because they can be searched.   So if you're a contractor and want to tell customers you're licensed, just say "licensed," not "LIC #12345".  Or just put a fake license number, nobody's gonna look it up anyway, right?  (Wrong, we do!   And we also know when you use someone else's license number to fool us)
- Put the signs up at 3 in the morning.    While this might work in a lot of cities where everyone lives in detached housing, it doesn't work in Philly where almost all the housing is attached and people work 4 shifts and are coming and going all the time.   You're being watched no matter what time of day it is.
- Be careful on the Internet, they can find you that way.

Now, why in the world would we give pointers on how to avoid being caught?   Because Kelly's advice is mostly crap.

What Kelly WON'T tell you is:

Anybody can fake out a bandit sign business by sending them phony customers who then collect names and auto tags.   We're not ashamed of it and it's perfectly legal.   We love wasting your time.  It's only fair since you're littering our neighborhood.
We do call backs.  If you don't know what that is, you probably shouldn't be putting up signs.
We have access to MLS just like you do, and it doesn't take much to pull deeds to see where you're buying, how often and who you sold to.   You can try to hide that deed swap with a fake LLC, but at some point you have to sign transfer papers that have to be recorded.  BOOM - gotcha.
We're ace at social media.  Think you can hide in social media by marketing only amongst friends?   Hah!  Better check your friends lists to see which ones are real and which ones are fake outs.
We can be as evil as you.  We would LOVE to share some of our tactics that Kelly doesn't cover in his $98.50 training course, but let's just say it's all geared towards wasting time, and more importantly, wasting money.  Want to avoid that?  Don't put bandit signs up.

Kelly is pretty open about it, and for that we applaud you, Kelly Lynch.   Kelly has nothing to hide, other than his strange LLC he owns, "Deviant Business Systems, LLC" in San Antonio, TX.

Note to self:  Maybe the Texas Comptroller would be interested in looking at an LLC that lists its primary engagement as: "Personal services including babysitting, shopping, personal assistants, and laundry services"?   


Since Kelly is selling you a course in how to break the law, it wouldn't escape us if he also encouraged other law-breaking things that are definitely illegal in Pennsylvania, and probably in Texas as well--such as running your business under an extant corporate entity that isn't registered to you.   You know, stuff that's pretty much a big fat no-no.

We wonder if Kelly Lynch also sells a course on tax evasion?

P.S. Hey Kelly, did you pay off your Chase Manhattan mortgage re-fi from 2003?   It showed up in a property search.  Just sayin'.
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It's Been Busy @ banditproject

Updated several reports with ID's today.

What an average banditproject volunteer looks like

Oh and before I forget, a big shout out goes to our newest volunteer in Port Richmond.   All we need is Harrowgate, Frankford and Bridesburg and we'll have continuous volunteer coverage all the way from Spring Garden to Fox Chase!

  • A fresh one came in today for a computer shop in Port Richmond.   Google tagged this one straight away.
  • Lenny Trexler of course, ran ads in the Metro for one of the most pernicious of bandit signs and is the #1 bandit sign on our site.   Hundreds of his signs have been popped off telephone poles long before we ever came around, and we'll keep poppin' them off as long as he keeps paying people to put them up.
  • And an oldie but a goodie, Michael Clements, another junk car tower who is #4 on our list and has literally hit just about every piece of upright wood in this city, we've confirmed his address and now we have an e-mail address that traces back to him.
  • And finally, again in the 19134, we've identified another real estate bandit sign poster, of the many zillions that are out there.  (P.S. we like his website and think the template he used is pretty, but his signs are pretty darned fugly)

Thanks again bandit volunteers!
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Dominos Pizza Store Thinks They Own Public Property

[Editor's note: The Dominos Pizza location in this article is Store No. 4796  (215) 465-2000 behind the Walgreens Pharmacy in the shopping center at 23rd and Oregon Avenue in South Philadelphia]

A volunteer of BanditProject writes in:

I thought that the manager of the new Pizza Hut on 23rd and Passyunk was an ignorant idiot regarding bandit signs, but the owner of the new Dominoes in the Quartermaster Plaza at 23rd and Oregon has him beat. Two days ago I saw a humongous 8' high double-sided dominoes sign attached to a pole on Oregon. I called and asked that it be removed. Manager basically said screw you unless you're a city employee. Yesterday I took the sign down and was cutting it into manageable size pieces when the owner came and confronted me, getting in my face and saying I had no right to take his sign down. I cited the statuteand urged him to call police, which he did. They never came. He then called his cohort and instructed him to use his vehicle to block my truck in and prevent me from leaving. Cohort did so and also called on his cell phone to Officer X ( I have the name) and "ran" my plate. I tired of waiting, hopped the curb, and left. Cohort followed me for 1/2 hour through S.Phila. before I lost him.

Later that afternoon I went to the same shopping center to make a purchase at Home Depot. The owner and cohort spotted me and yelled "We'll see you at XWZ street, naming the street that I live on and therefore indicating that cohort's police friend had given them that info from my plate. I told them that I would be making a complaint against Officer X, to which cohort responded "Go ahead, he's in the XX district." While in H.D., ten polce cars encircled my truck. When I came out, a cop patted me down. Cohort had called in a false "man with a gun" report. The police soon realized that I had no gun and there was no legit basis for the call, yet they did not arrest cohort for making a false report.

Today I will be filing that complaint against Officer X. I am also preparing a lawsuit against Dominoes, the local owner, his cohort, Officer X, and the Phila. Police Dept. Assault, unlawful restraint, improper use of police info., theft (after I took it down, the sign was rightfully mine, yet the owner stole some of the panels from me)

Most folk, especially in a picky East Coast city like ours where we know our pizza, don't make a choice to go Dominos over the local pie stores solely because of a crappy coroplast pole wrap.  However, the operator of this Dominos location must think his cheap coroplast will make or break his sales figures to be willing to call a PPD officer in personally for "back-up" to protect his illegal sign from being taken down.

We think it's laughable that an officer of the PPD was bamboozled into bodyguarding a crappy pizza store owner for his illegal signage, and then hustling our volunteer after the fact.

I hope Dominos Pizza doesn't encourage this type of thuggery at its other store locations and would stop sending coroplast pole wraps to its Philadelphia-area stores since erecting those on utility poles and street lights is illegal.

For the record, the only kind of light poles at 23rd and Oregon Avenue that would be legal to erect the signage would be parking lot lighting that is not owned and paid for by the City of Philadelphia.   Utility poles and streetlighting in the public right of way is banned from advertising signs.   And yes, ANYONE can remove the signs because it is NOT trespassing.   Our volunteer was breaking no law.  

Got that?

I think this store just earned a negative review on Yelp and Google Biz.
Categories: Removals, Hall of Shame
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Recent Signs

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